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basically in 24 hours of not bein home, its been decided i shouldnt live here (at my parents) anymore.
real shii im tired of this back and forth nonsense
im seriously doin my best to live here and abide by theyre guidelines
but since theres no trust its getn difficult
like come on now im almost 20 years old.
im living like im 15 tryna keep peace
im SO ready to go
but i noe its best if i stay here
at least til summer...
anybody tryna get a place wit me?
lol
anyway so im SUPER tired
watchn my fave lil movie
disney's Robin Hood


so im about to crash
yeah i know its only 10pm
but hey i need sum rest

Bang Bang <3

so my kick (08) has been f'n up all day
had no internet since i woke up
and all my numbers and contacts got erased
so hada call tmobile
freakn reboot
and the thing still woodnt work
so finally after i left it alone for sum hours it resent everything
sucha relief

hada good nite, home @ 4am
not too bad

went to jesus' house
there way too long

ate wit tha fam

blah blah blah

oh yeah and found this
Another oldie
back in my gangsta days
lol
i dnt even remember
so yeah, read up:



Broken windows and glass
pick up the pieces of my heart
you assured me this time would be the last...
only for you to push me out the way.
now im not yours
you said id b fine in your arms, you lied
you wasted time, time thats run away and slipped thru my finger tips
all the things you said you were you dont even come CLOSE to
you danced in circles around me
lets not forget all the times you pretended to care
you rehearsed every line
new EXACTLY what to say to make me smile
it seems you figured me out before i had time to understand what we were about
i was trying way too long and WAY too hard
thinking we were goin somewhere
when all along you had no intention to make me anything more than "just some girl"
i hate that title
i hate that feeling...
i hate you

ill bury your face in your own words
theres a bullet with ur name on it
revenge is so sweet when you deserve to die
lets see if you recognize my face when im standing over you body
wit a 12 gauge shotty
<3

no inspiration...written a while back

found this in an old book i used to write in
thot it was interesting since i know i wrote it with no inspiration:

i cry because you make me
you say its me, but really its you
you make me happy, yes
but than you rip the smile off my face and leave my mouth to bleed vicious and angry words into your ears
you say im evil
but your stupidity is the devil th@ possesses me
sometimes i cant even breath because my hate for you is starting to consume my soul and crush my lungs
i want to tell you how i feel, but for you to understand would be a miracle;
and i could never turn you, a lowly boy, into a god
than again, on occasion, you make me so happy
a happiness comparable to the moon shining its light in the deepest, darkest pit of my nightmares
i dont want you to go
you are my life source
and if you leave you pull the plug leaving me lonely and cold; dead
but i cant stand you
you break my heart with every word you say and grind it into dust with every word u dont
stars couldnt count the amount of sorrow my heavy heart feels with some of the malicious things you say
they eat at my insides like a cancer
they consume my thoughts like a freshly dipped i black paintbrush submerged in crystal clear water
you say im dramatic
but ull never know what goes on behind this painted on smile and the closed doors of my home
she sets me up
he breaks me down
you think you know?
psh you have no idea
and you never will


signed- my broken heart

Daddy Daughter Day

so if u read my "1994" blog post you might have gotten the hint that at one point my father and i were VERY close
not to say we dont love eachother now
but were not how we used to b
i mean i was little
ANYWAY today we did a little bonding
it was nice
went to pick up my check
went to the car dealership
went to the mall
went to rubios (my treat)
than came home and played sum wii

cutest part of the day:
in rubios i ran into an old frends mom
who told me my frends getting married on valentines day
now granted shes is a few years older
but it just surprised me
bcuz so many ppl i know get married so young
and my whole thing is i have an IDEA of wat i like now
but wen im 25 im not guna like who i liked when im 19
shoot i prolly wont even like who *I* was at 19!


but anyway my dad and i got on the subject of marriage
so i asked his how long him and my mom had been married again
he said 23 years this june
i said wow mom was only 21
he said yes but she was VERY mature
so i asked him "Why did u get married only 6 months after you met?"
he replied:
"When i was a little boy, i used to have this recurring dream
and in this dream i could here this womans voice
i knew she was my dream woman but there was this bright light behind her so i couldnt see her face
but i knew her voice
and i swore i would marry the woman whos voice that belonged to
(now keep in mind my mom used to date this guy and my dad dated his sister so they new eachother)
so years later at christmas, wen my mom worked at the check cashing place wher my dad cashed his checks, he decided to give christmas cards to all the girls that worked there
(oh yes and my parents bf and gf were very jealous so they had never talked to eachother, but they had already broken up at this point)
so that nite my mom called my dad to thank him for the card
so...phone rings
hes sleep
and he answers like "wat do you want?"
and she says "dion? hi, this is susie, from the check cashing place"
and hes tell it like this:
"the second i heard her voice, my mind took me back to that dream i used to have; except this time the light was behind ME and i could see her face...and it was your mom. So i knew i had to marry her"
i thot it was sweet so...i shared that lil story with u

=]


now i need somebody to call me and sing me musiq's "so beautiful"!

R.i.p auntie jan

So yesterday was my dads cuzns funeral
she was more like an aunt to me tho
and it had me thinking so much more than any funeral ive ever been to
you here so much about signs of the times
and how it waits for no one
and how quickly it goes
i duno i just dont want it to end with nothing to show
and not ready to go

well anyway my parents were talking and they both have always made me swear not to let anyone give them a "funeral" (they want a "memorial") or bury them
they both want to be cremated and their ashes scattered
my dads in africa
my moms in the ocean
but...i dnt wana b cremated
i know it may sound vain
but i want people to see me one last time
to pay their respects and say their last good byes
granted i will already be gone
but sometimes you just need that last moment
i know i sure did

speaking of this is the song my dad wants played at his

Another Dance - Bunny Wailer

Tryna get to dreamland...

I know its been a while
im exhausted
ive had rest, but no "sleep" since friday
but um few updates
first of all i canNOT get freakn "arab money" out of my head!
i mite cop these boots


and i most DEF am getn one of these bathing suits
im lookin in2 them early
just cuz im getn the side tat fixed to go up and around my back
so i got summer on my mind
aagghh dear summer






by the way tell me why this girl is hideous
lol

oh man and cutest thing ever
this little baby waas seriously sitting next to me in church tryna to take my tattoo off
haha

1994

So the other day my co-worker worker asked me "If you could go back to any age, which would it be?"
I didnt even have to think twice i quickly replied "Four years old"
That was thee best year EVER
My dad didnt work for that whole year
and we spent everyday doin something fun
We went to oxford park
watched cartoon network
watched kpbs
played all kinds of games
tickle fights
MAN those were the days
boing boom chuck
dinn'a
quiet
it was just a great time in my life
moving on
we also had a discussion about princess'
why does every body say freakn cinderella
jazmine
snow white
my favorite is aurora "sleeping beauty


shes the best ones
hands down
oh yes
actually DIDNT stay home on a saturday nite lol
got out tha house
and had a pretty great time

Whats an AID?

drink of the month goes to (drum roll)
FUZE Banana Colada

stuffs delicious
really
stumbled upon it on accident while dying of thirst standing in line @ walmart
it was fate...\
moving on
i think i have a new lil obsession with Keri Hilson

She is absolutely BEAUTIFUL
and very talented
shes been writing songs for ppl like brittney spears
ludacris
usher
ciara
etc since like 2001
i started to like her when i heard the song Miscommunication of Timberlands Shock Value album, which she is featured on
shes also in the song Scream (same album) which i like too
Her album In a perfect world has some nice singles on it
anyway if u wana noe more hit up:


http://kerihilsonmusic.com/
or

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keri_Hilson
or of course
www.myspace.com/kerihilson

"You're not tight"

It started out an ok day
probably on the better side cuz i got to wear my shoes


partly watched about 45 minutes worth of pineapple express (kinda distracted)
was really nice tho; havent watched too much of a bluray movie
SO clear
ran around town
ate my favorite carls jr jalapeno burger

mmmmmm delicioso!
i love carls man, their burgers always look like the pictures
went to my cuzns to see my sort of niece and nephew
came home to a succulent rib dinner (love being back home)
was SUPPOSED to go to starbucks right now but...didnt so im goin to go play some mario kart

oh my next purchase will b these j.simpson shoes
i really dnt like her
but i do already own and will own more of her shoes

i like the fit
LOVE the color
so...yeah gotta have em

Bubble Wrap®

Today was THEE most boring, slow day of my working career. In my search to find something to do, i stumbled upon the task of RTS-ing (which means return to sender)
In that process you have to wrap whatever your sending in bubble wrap, which made me think "who the hell invented this"
i vowed to findout so i did a little research...this is what i found:

Definition:

Bubble Wrap is a pliable transparent plastic material commonly used for packing fragile items. Regularly spaced, protruding air-filled hemispheres ("bubbles") provide cushioning for precious or breakable items. Bubble Wrap was created by two engineers, Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes, in 1957. The term is a registered trademark of the Sealed Air Corporation which was founded in 1960 by the two inventors, and should theoretically only be used for products of that company, but has become genericized

The invention of Bubble Wrap was accidental: They were trying to create a textured plastic wallpaper with paper backing that could be easily cleaned.

The story begins in 1957 in a garage in Hawthorne, NJ with two engineers, Marc Chavannes and Al Fielding. Marc and Al were trying to make a plastic wallpaper with a paper backing. Surprisingly, this product didn't take off. They realized, however, that their invention could be used as a cushioning packaging material. At that time, only abrasive paper products were used for packaging, and they did not suffice for cushioning heavy or delicate items. Marc and Al raised $9,000 to fund a developmental production line. They incorporated Sealed Air Corporation in 1960, and today, Sealed Air is a leading worldwide manufacturer of numerous protective and specialty packaging materials with annual revenues exceeding 3 billion dollars.

they also have multiple colors, so that "your packages dont have to arrive in bland, blah bubble wrap"

Who started Bubble Wrap® Apreciation Day?

"Spirit 95" Radio, the FM radio station in Bloomington, IN that started Bubble Wrap® Appreciation Day in 2001, held its first annual Bubblympiad with events such as a Bubble Wrap® popping relay, Pop-a-Mole (similar to a well-known carnival game), and sculpture and fashion design contests.

International affair

I woke up this morning with this song in my head
i used to LOVE it
i duno why
i swear there was a reg music video to it
but i coodnt find it
=[
i didnt really look tho
cuz i gotta go to work
ANYWAY i did find this
sean paul is so hard 2 understand sumtimes lol

Youngsters

So today my frend called me to remind me about her wedding date
were the same age, same birthday
and i asked her "are you sure"
and shes like "ive been sure for the last 6 months"
im all for it
she is almost 20, she noes what she wants
if shes happy im super happy for her
and than i started thinkn "all the youngsters these days are all actin like there little kid love lifes are guna last forever"
for instance:

Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston


Miley is freakn 16, hes 20
He met her earlier this year when he was a contestant on “Nashville Star, which was hosted by her dad Billy Ray.
besides being an aspiring country singer he also models (guess, kenneth cole)
so she just finished designing the tattoo shes guna get of their initials in a heart (aawww how freakn cute) because as you know all 16 year old relationships last til death
right?
anyway i think its dumb
that was my point

oh yes and my jacket FINALLY came today
best pic i cood find of it cuz i didnt feel like takn one myself

man, beyonce...

Im feelin u



Broken-hearted Girl lyrics

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…

Now playing: Sooner or Later- N*E*R*D

Ive decided to focus on the positive of the day
had plenty to do
Cleaned and organized my room best i could
took three bags to buffalo exchange

havent been there in quite a while
went ok
they took sum ish
and i copped a sweater and a t
actually ill just show it to u
if u noe me than ull get it
i kinda put on a few lb's
but not in too many in the wrong places
ANYWAY im not complaining
so:

than i went to get my eyebrows waxed and i went to a dif lady and she f-ed em up
so im rather upset about that
went to macys
didnt c anything i liked...again
went to the bball courts and watched the fam
(i was not about to play in 1's!)
went to my aunts and ate abondigas (mexican meatball soup)
went to the grocery store
came home and playd a whole bunch of mario kart

i love this game
so much more because my dad and i used to play video games ALL the time
nintendo consoles mostly like super nintendo, 64, sega,
super mario
contra
mario kart
kirby
street fighters
clay fighters
sonic
duck hunt =]
cruisin usa
earth worm jim
1080
rush
mario party
man...lots of memories
ima go play some more...later gators
ps. i hate solja boy
but for sum reason the hook in "kiss me thru the phone" is always stuck in my head
in a good way
ok bye for real this time

Some peolpe are doorways...

The unborn, yeah, hella scary movie
i dont care what anybody says
every person in there (INCLUDING Daddy) was jumpin and a lot of people were screaming
i hated it
i probably watched a total of...half the movie?
i sat there majority of the time with my hands over my ears and my eyes closed
i noe, im a big pussy but i dnt care
i was scared!
havent really looked into it? heres the whole site:
http://www.theunbornmovie.net/

OH YES
before we ate applebee's we went to nestle tollhouse and got cookies
i got this delicious fat chocolate chip cookie cup type thing
filled wit melted chocolate
and topped with caramel
and pecans
SO DELICOUS!

nissan cube

so this is the car my dad wants 2 get me; he really likes it
i think it LOOKS ok but feature wise
its basically the shit
u gotta check it out:
http://www.nissanusa.com/cube/?dcp=ppn.28434549.&dcc=0.205796030

Back home again...

*sigh* i just sat down upstairs, back in my old room
man oh man as bad as i didnt wana move back here wit tha parents, i must admit it feels pretty nice
"why in the world would i move back" you may ask?
well...as hard as its going to be going from no rules to rules;
and doin watever i want and not answering to anyone to going where i "can" and not makn a move with out giving some notice, i feel like this is the best thing for me right now
i can b more focused
mayb think about goin back to school
save money
but most importantly i can feel that family togetherness again
=]

Zora Bush

I woke up early the other day
reason unknown to me
anyway i heard my niece awake
so i went to play with her
shes so freakn cute
its ridiculous!
so she was tryna talk to me and sing like mariah carey and....well just watch

zora bush

The road goes on forever, but the party never ends

So, after medieval times my cuzn and her frends decide they wanted to go the the club in Long Beach...im not 21 tho
i didnt noe how her crew (trif crew) rolled
so got in no prob blah blah blah; but tell me why the guys in there were dancing SO good?!?!
like i hav never seen guys dance like that
cool beans.
anyway had a blast, danced the nite away made new frends
turned out wonderfully.
_____________________________________________________________

Today woke up @ my parents and didnt go to church. We (my parents and i) are so torn between if i should move in with them or not
its hard going from no rules to rules
but we all feel like itll b a good change
we shall see...

Medieval Times

Tonight were goin to Medieval times for my cuzn dueces b-day
If youve never been there, your missing out on a great show!
it's in la;
7662 Beach Blvd
Buena Park, California 90602

heres a brief cut out from their introduction page:

"Welcome to the 11th century! Just beyond the great doors of our Hall of Arms waits the celebration arena, the heart of each of Medieval Times' nine castles. From high above King Philippe and his daughter-in-law, Princess Leonore, preside over a four-course feast. Below, privileged royal guests are transported to faraway lands including a romantic snowy rendezvous in the woods and an authentic medieval tournament -- with the help of Hollywood-caliber special effects, of course."


http://www.medievaltimes.com/

Oh yes i cant forget...

fForgot to mention, I just had my black eyed peas
had to get them in before the day was over.
if you dont know what thats all about heres a few other things you may not know:


January 1. January 1st officially became the first day of a new year in 46 B.C. when Julius Caesar established the Julian calendar.

New year's resolutions. The ancient Babylonians began the idea of New Year's resolutions as a way to start the year off with a clean slate by returning borrowed items.

Baby new year. Using a baby to represent the birth of the new year started in ancient Greece in 600 B.C.

Black-eyed peas & cabbage. Some say the black-eyed pea's lucky streak dates back to the pharaohs. Others say it started in Vicksburg, Virginia, during the Civil War when the town ran out of food while under siege and the inhabitants were lucky enough to discover cow peas (a.k.a., black-eyed peas). Meanwhile, cabbage leaves (a symbol of prosperity) are thought to bring prosperity to those who eat them on New Year's Day.


Tournament of Roses Parade. The first parade was staged in 1890 by the Pasadena, California, Valley Hunt Club as a celebration of the town's mild winter weather. In 1895, the Tournament of Roses Association took charge of the festival when the parade had grown too large for the hunt club to continue hosting. Today, the elaborate floats can take as long as a year to design and build.

Auld Lang Syne. Inspired by old Scottish tunes, the lyrics to the song Auld Lang Syne were written by the poet Robert Burns and published after his death in 1796.

Auld Lang Syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?
And here's a hand, my trusty friend, and gie's a hand o' thine
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet for auld lang syne.

New Years Eve/Day

So basically i had an excellent new years eve.
party kickback in balboa, beer pong and wat not
than off to dwntwn to wait for midnite
it was fun
went wit "tha block"
im tryna get initiated, low key
my bf's frends r hella fun
midnite